Chaos Rules After a brief intermission, which included a bizarre #teambeard vs. #teamstache rap battle, the WBMC moved into the partial beard division, which started pleasantly but spiraled quickly into chaos. Olsen gave up his emcee duties to Portland blogger Byron Beck, who started rushing and even belittling the contestants in an effort to move the event along faster. Being short on time is understandable, but his loud and manic energy made the second half unbearable, taking away from the fun and giving way to an unruly crowd that began to shout and boo through the partial beards. Technical difficulties also plagued the event, as the scoreboard was frequently missing names, at times wouldn't add up, and often required judges to repeat their votes for the scorekeeper, who for whatever reason had trouble hearing them. Recent English Moustache champion Snidely Mansfield, who was sitting up in the balcony through the second half, said he wasn't surprised. "Any time you try to organize this many beardos, something's bound to happen," he said. Still, Olsen had promised a world-class event, one that could compete with the other World Beard and Moustache Championships, which runs separately every other year. "They want to see this event fail," Olsen said of the other event organizers last week. "It's going to be an extremely well-organized and professional event." While it may have been successful in terms of attendance and promotion – drawing 300 contestants and nearly filling the Keller is an impressive feat – it became increasingly difficult to call it well-organized or professional. The Almighty Beards At the start of the full beard division, Beck apologized for rushing the contestants, promising to be "less crazy" for the final, and largest segment of the day. With a calmer pace, the pageantry returned, allowing time for crowd favourites like Charles Hazelton and Marcus Eley, both dressed as Gandalf, and David Oehler, dressed as Gandalf in purple and pink ("He's either gay or he's from Eugene," Beck noted). All three made it to the Full Beard Natural semifinal, along with Hail Adams (dressed as a monk), Jordan Dauby (in overalls carrying a pitchfork), Matt Batolotti (who simply had an awesome beard) and 18 others. In the finals, the title went to PortlanderAndrew Shuler, dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, who won over the judges and audience with his long red beard. As the endless parade of beards continued, Beck and Olsen hurried contestants once again. "We have to get out of here on time or they charge us more money," Beck told the audience. The beardsmen walked around confused, unsure when to leave and when to stay, corralled at once by the dual emcees. At 5:40 Beck told the crowd the event would end at 6, despite there being two categories and the overall vote still remaining. What was supposed to be a well-organized facial hair competition had turned into a race against the clock. The crowd booed as two competitors rushed late onstage during the Garibaldi preliminaries, nearly forcing a recount. Beck seemed panicked as he tried to hurry it along. "Come on, come on, come on, you guys! We gotta go, go, go!" he yelled into the mic. One bright spot amid the chaos was Portlander Jedediah Aaker, who somehow got extra time, walking onstage in short shorts and a white fur coat, his red beard shaped into a flying V guitar, gyrating his belly to the roar of the crowd. He walked away with sixth place, but he stole the audience's heart. With five minutes left to go, the winners of each of the 18 categories walked onstage for the best overall facial hair award, as determined by audience vote. Portlander Madison Rowley, winner of the Garibaldi, narrowly beat out veteran and international competitor MJ Johnson for the overall gold, not with panache or style, but simply with a spectacular beard. Because at the end of the day, beyond the international outrage, the rushed and disorganized competition, the yelling and belittling of contestants and the unpredictable nature of the massive audience, it was the facial hair that mattered most. Jason Seehorn, competitor in Full Beard Freestyle put it well before the championships started Saturday. "It's just dead follicles on my face," he said. "I don't want to make it anything it isn't. Source from --Jamie Hale | email@example.com | @HaleJamesB The 2014 World Beard and Moustache Championships results are now available. The full winners are as follows: [MOUSTACHE] Natural Moustache 1st John Cordes 2nd Devon Holcombe 3rd Curtis Cole English Moustache 1st Snidely Mansfield 2nd Benjamin Taylor Dali Moustache 1st Jeffrey Well 2nd Matthew Billfield 3rd Ian Stetler Imperial Moustache 1st Roberto Campos 2nd Joshua Miller 3rd Nicholas Davis Hungarian Moustache 1st Gordie Blair 2nd Joseph Jeszeck 3rd Gabriel Fall Freestyle Moustache 1st Daniel Lawlor 2nd Brooke Mahnken 3rd Greg Vaughan [PARTIAL BEARD] Goatee Natural 1st Jeffrey Carta 2nd Monte Wiess 3rd Nathan Sobel Fu Manchu 1st Steve Scarpa 2nd Josh Philippe Imperial Partial Beard 1st MJ Johnson 2nd Patrick Ryan 3rd Derrick Strang Musketeer 1st Jeffrey Moustache 2nd Dennis Dickerson 3rd Al Underwood Sideburns 1st Nathan Johnson 2nd Toot Joslin 3rd Josh Jasmin Amish Beard 1st Kevin Graybill 2nd Josiah Farmer 3rd Matt MacLean Partial Beard Freestyle 1st Kevin Riordan 2nd Steffen Rasile 3rd John Barnes [FULL BEARD] Full Beard Natural 1st Andrew Shuler 2nd Justin Mulhollen 3rd Jordan Dauby Full Beard Styled Moustache 1st Travis McFarland 2nd Burke T. Kenny 3rd Nate Hardenbrook Verdi 1st Nic Mahoskey 2nd Jonathan Coates 3rd Shannon Fallon Garibaldi 1st Madison Rowley 2nd Joel Andrus 3rd Hurvey Haskins Full Beard Freestyle 1st Jeffrey Jensen 2nd Xtopher Grey 3rd Greg Arens Overall Winner Madison Rowley --Jamie Hale | firstname.lastname@example.org | @HaleJamesB
Nobody said growing award-winning facial hair was easy. This year's World Beard and Moustache Championships, in Portland on Saturday afternoon, filled the Keller Auditorium with whimsical facial hair pageantry, despite being marred by a bizarre and petty international controversy, before quickly spiraling into complete chaos halfway through the event. It truly was a hairy situation. Roughly 300 contestants, with facial hair in 18 categories, descended upon Portland this weekend, representing nine foreign countries, the Virgin Islands and 29 U.S. states. They all took the stage in an Olympic-style procession, waving flags before the cheering throngs of spectators, in Portland to determine which of them have best facial hair in the world. How to Judge Facial Hair Contrary to popular assumption, the contest isn't about having bigger and better facial hair, show organizer and emcee Phil Olsen said. Instead, judges are looking for the contestants whose facial hair "best enhances their overall appearance, style and personality." That means that a well-grown beard or 'stache alone won't cut it at the WBMC – a certain amount of pageantry is necessary to take home the top prize. For contestants on Saturday that meant bringing a colorful personality in addition to impressive facial hair. They were judged by five people out of a panel of six, which included Miss Oregon 2014Rebecca Anderson, "One Thousand Beards" author Allan Peterkin and Shane Pittson, a Brigham Young University Student protesting the university's anti-beard rules. In the moustache division the crowd overwhelmingly supported two competitors,Roberto Campos and Joshua Miller, both in the Imperial Moustache category. Campos strutted out in a Mexican charro suit, to wild applause from all but the supporters of Miller, who styled his gray hair into two wings on either side of his bald head. In the end Campos barely edged out Miller, eliciting wild cheers throughout the auditorium. It was hard to tell what the members of the audience favored. They would cheer for the costumed contestants one minute, then for the casual beardsmen the next. They may have been fickle, but the audience members were the saving grace of the competition, which suddenly took a turn for the worse.